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the proper way to offer condolences to a Jew
10-16-2007, 08:18 AM (This post was last modified: 10-21-2007 11:37 AM by Director Michael.)
Post: #1
the proper way to offer condolences to a Jew
Shalom to respectful Rabbis and shalom Dr. Schulman,
As a Noahide, when a Jewish friend talks about a deceased relative and I want to show my respect, are there some standard words in Judaism, or are those words exactly like the ones other people use? (like G-d bless his soul or things like that)
I have heard about "Baruch Dayan Emet", but then I heard it is said only when a religious person has passed away, or I understood it that way.
After death what happens? Is the soul in another dimension and then it comes back to the corpse?
Thank you very much for helping us with our questions.
Elinor
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10-21-2007, 12:38 PM (This post was last modified: 10-21-2007 01:55 PM by Director Michael.)
Post: #2
RE: the proper way to offer condolences to a Jew
oceanoah Wrote:Shalom to respectful Rabbis and shalom Dr. Schulman,
As a Noahide, when a Jewish friend talks about a deceased relative and I want to show my respect, are there some standard words in Judaism, or are those words exactly like the ones other people use? (like G-d bless his soul or things like that)

During the first week that a Jewish person is in mourning over the loss of a spouse or close relative, G-d forbid, it is proper to include this phrase in your words of condolences, preferably as the concluding statement:
"May G-d comfort you along with the mourners of Tzion and Jerusalem."

After the first week of mourning, you can use any thoughtful and tactful words of condolences.

oceanoah Wrote:I have heard about "Baruch Dayan Emet", but then I heard it is said only when a religious person has passed away, or I understood it that way.

This means "Blessed is the True Judge," refering to G-d. It is said immediately by a person who hears of a tragic event, G-d forbid, and in particular when the person hears of the death of someone which touches them deeply - especially a close family member, G-d forbid.

oceanoah Wrote:After death what happens? Is the soul in another dimension and then it comes back to the corpse?

Please see our forum in "End of Physical Life" -
http://www.asknoah.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=6
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12-04-2010, 04:57 PM
Post: #3
RE: the proper way to offer condolences to a Jew
B"H

A blessed Hanukah to everyone! I apologize for bothering you during the Festival of Lights, but I need help. Unfortunately, my Jewish neighbor had passed away and I am invited to attend the funeral service. I am not familiar with how religious the family is, but I have strong reasons to believe that the service will not be held according to the rules of Jewish tradition, G-d forbid. The Jewish family may lack religious education and not be aware of the severity of their transgression, but I am neither Jewish nor close family, and I fear I may offend someone by being too involved and urging them to change their plans. On the other hand, as a Hasidic Noahide I feel very uncomfortable attending a service that violates a Jewish person's right to a kosher funeral, G-d forbid. If the funeral nevertheless proceeds according to their wishes and against Torah law, G-d forbid, should I refuse the invitation?

May G-d protect Israel and the Jewish people.
Hrvatski
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12-05-2010, 10:27 PM
Post: #4
RE: the proper way to offer condolences to a Jew
Please do not be concerned about "bothering us," because this is what we are here for.

Assuming that there is nothing that's strictly forbidden in regard to the *location* of the funeral service, you may attend. Your concerns for the proper treatment of the deceased Jewish body are admirable, but if there are any problems in that regard, it's not known whether or not your mixing in at this time of the family's intense bereavment would have any positive effect. My advice is that you could contact a local Orthodox Rabbi, tell him about the situation, and ask him if he thinks it's warranted that he should contact the family to tactfully explain to them what should be done in the best spiritual interests of the body and soul of the dearly departed.
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