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Not mixing diary and meat without a vow to avoid
When I eat out, I always try to specify that I would like my burger or whatever without cheese. I do this because the Torah says that God considers it "an abomination" FOR JEWS to mix meat with cheese or butter. I avoid cheese on my burgers for this reason, always reminding myself that God does not command it of me.
First question: is that is an acceptable practice?
Sometimes, my burger (or whatever) will arrive with cheese. I rarely complain about anything someone has set before me because I am grateful for the food and I do not wish to embarrass them by complaining. The exceptions would be poultry that is undercooked or some other potentially dangerous condition. Egg shells in my omelet? I blow it off. I have been a cook and I know egg shells in the eggs can sometimes happen no matter how careful the cook is (it also means they used real eggs.)
Second question: is it permitted for me to eat the cheeseburger (or whatever), knowing I have no commandment not to and I have made no vow to avoid mixing? (I just TRY to do it to remind myself there is Someone Above Whose opinion I should be mindful of.)
I believe you are mixing in verses or questionable sources that are unrelated to the actual issues concerning mixing meat with milk. G-d's commandment in the Torah forbids Jews to eat meat that was cooked with milk, and this is communicated as a simple statement in three separate verses: Exodus 23:19, Exodus 34:19, and Deuteronomy 14:21 ("You shall not boil a kid in its mother's milk"). Aside from teaching that G-d prohibits Jews to cook meat in milk, the Torah does not anywhere call it an "abomination".

Therefore it seems that your reason for not eating meat with milk is mistaken. In fact, it is a supra-logical, purely religious Jewish ritual commandment. As such, it does not provide any practical benefit for a Gentile. If a Gentile imposes this upon himself because of the religious reason you cited, this amounts to adding on a purely religious commandment for himself, which should not be done.

So yes, it is definitely permitted for you (as a Noahide) to eat a cheeseburger. That doesn't mean that you have to force yourself to do so. You can always choose to eat something else based on your feelings and tastes. If the thought of eating it (or any other food) causes you a reflex reaction of emotional discomfort, that's a valid reason to consider when deciding whether or not to eat it.

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