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Pre Marital Sex
What is the thorough EXPLANATION from Noahide Laws Perspective when it comes to Pre Marital Sex?

Toda Rabah
This reply is compiled from the relevant Torah laws on this subject as presented in "The Divine Code," and from answers elsewhere in this forum.

One of the Noahide Commandments encompasses "Forbidden Relations" - the six categories of partners who are forbidden to have sexual intercourse together. It is impossible for forbidden partners to contract marriage together within Noahide Law, so the categories of forbidden relations are always "extramarital," even if the ruling government transgresses and recognizes any of them as such.

Beyond that, mankind was blessed to receive standards for MORAL behavior that is pleasing in G-d's eyes. This obligates Gentiles to refrain from sexual actions that may not be considered punishable in a Torah-based court of law, but nevertheless are abhorrent to G-d and a departure from the ways of upright, pious living. All of this is discussed in the book "The Divine Code," 2nd Edition, Part VI (The Prohibition of Forbidden Relations), by Rabbi Moshe Weiner of Jerusalem:

To correctly speak about "extra-marital" relations, one first has to know the definition of what marriage is. Within Torah Law, Gentiles are not required to conduct any special ceremony in order to enter into a marriage relationship. For Gentiles, the bond of marriage is defined by the conditions which would make the woman liable for the capital sin of adultery if she would have intercourse relations with another man. This applies if she has taken on a domestic partnership with "her man," having the same home together and living in the manner of a husband and wife as a matter of public knowledge, and they have had normal marital relations with the intention of consummating their marriage bond. (Within the Torah Law for Gentiles, the end of a marriage - i.e. the decision to be divorced - is publicly established when they permanently separate from being domestic partners with each other, as a matter of public knowledge, and no longer live with each other.)

However, since marriage is also a societal institution, a Gentile society has some rights to enact laws that place more restrictive (but not less restrictive) rules on what will be recognized as a valid marriage, for couples in that society. For example, a society is permitted to make a secular law that a person is not permitted to marry a first-cousin, and that relationships between first-cousins will always be considered extra-marital.

For Gentile men, the promiscuous / licentious pursuit to "have [sexual] fun with girls" without the bond of marriage is deemed to be immoral and disdainful in G-d's eyes, as it leads to - or may even be focused on - the sin of emission of semen in vain (see below), as well as the societal evil of prostitution, which includes those who prostitute themselves only for the sake of the pleasure they receive from non-marital sex. Genesis 2:24 states: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." This means that the "clinging" by a man which the verse refers to - which is sexual intercourse - should be with "his wife." In the Torah context for Gentiles, "his wife" means a woman who dedicates herself to establish her home with the man (whether or not he himself resides full-time in this home of his), for the purpose of a publicly known marriage relationship between them (whether or not any marriage documents are filed with the government).

In that verse, the blessing to "become one flesh" refers to the man and his wife conceiving a child together. Therefore it's clear that a man should marry a woman, and she should be an established wife for him. This is the means of establishing a society, which is accomplished through a man bonding with his wife and having children with her, as it says, 'The L-rd, Creator of the Heavens; He is the G-d, the One Who fashioned the earth ... He did not create it for emptiness; He fashioned it to be inhabited...' Thus it is G-d's will that people should settle and populate the world. Nevertheless, even though it is fitting to be married and have children, Gentile women or men for whom marriage or having children would be a hardship are not required by Torah Law to fulfill these obligations, since G-d did not command in the Torah that they must do so.

On the other hand, if Gentile men and women engage in casual licentious relations, instead of establishing a home together as bonded domestic partners (which at least minimally fulfills the condition for Noahide marriage), then their licentious actions are animalistic and bring harm and chaos to the society. (See "The Divine Code," p. 522.)  Whether or not the matter is known publicly, it does not render the woman married to him nor give her a status of a betrothed woman. Although such relations are not forbidden for Gentiles according to the letter of the Torah law, it is a repulsive act, even if done in a temporary fashion. It seems that greater availability of birth control methods leads people to think that they have more freedom for casual/recreational sexual intercourse outside of marriage. This is symptomatic of the prevailing moral breakdown in modern societies. In such an atmosphere, it's certainly important for parents to set limits for their children, and to educate them about the immorality of both prostitution and non-marital casual/recreational sexual intercourse, both of which are destabilizing to society (see Leviticus 19:29).

Note: Both prostitution and any kind of fornication without marriage are strictly forbidden for Jews within the 613 Jewish Commandments.

The advice is for a young person not to get involved at all with intimate relations until he/she finds a partner who is also ready and willing for them to be joined in a bond of marriage. One of the most helpful things that parents can do to help their children through the challenges of adolescence (starting at the latest from the age of puberty) is to send their sons to an all-boys school, and their daughters to an all-girls school. Schools should not offer mixed-gender social events (dances, proms, etc.), because that is just like throwing gasoline on a fire. Parents also need to set boundaries for their children's social lives. A wise policy is not to go on unchaperoned dates until the young man and young woman have gotten to know each other well without physical intimacy, and they are seriously considering if they want (and are ready and able) to get married.

If a Gentile couple is in a long-distance relationship in which they have the opportunity to be together in privacy only between long periods of being located apart, the onus would be on the woman to openly let a number of her local friends know that she is in this committed long-distance relationship, and not to go out on dates or be intimate with any other men. It would be a good thing for the couple to go ahead and get legally married, since the couple has the commitment for marriage and they want to be intimate, but they can't yet live together. If the couple wants to postpone their full-scale wedding ceremony with family and friends, that could be done later when they finally have the ability to live together on a permanent basis. In the meantime, they could simply go to a courthouse or a mayor's office to get legally married. The purpose is to make their relationship public knowledge, which otherwise would be lacking due to their geographic separation.

In regard to birth-control pills, there are always new drugs and new methods being developed, so with any particular post-conception birth-control drug, it is the reliable expert Orthodox Rabbis who can rule on whether or not it is permissible for Gentiles. A birth-control method in which the fertilized egg is not directly killed, but instead just passes out on its own WITHOUT being able to implant on the uterus lining, is allowed for Gentiles. That is the way the IUD works, which is an allowed method. But a method that prevents conception from the outset is preferred.

Obviously, the longer a woman waits after having unprotected normal intercourse, the higher the probability that a fertilized egg has already implanted in the uterus. If it is a type of "birth control" pill that causes an implanted embryo to unattach from the uterus wall, that is an abortion pill, and it is forbidden unless it is medically necessary to save the mother's life, or within the first 40 days from conception in a few other dire circumstances on a case-by-case basis. See "The Divine Code," pp. 384-385, which is included in this on-line excerpt:

Finally, for both single and married males (and females need to know as well), there is a sexual practice which is seriously forbidden. That is emission of semen "in vain," which in the Torah Law for Gentiles means emitting semen for no allowed purpose. Licentious emission of semen does not serve the constructive purpose for which human desire was created, and it is very sinful in G-d's eyes.

Although the use of a condom is forbidden for Jewish men (for whom intercourse is only permitted with one's Jewish wife), the ruling is somewhat more lenient for Gentile men. In G-d's eyes, the act of marital intercourse between a Gentile man and woman serves a constructive purpose in and of itself, because it strengthens their marital bonding, regardless of whether or not the woman is able to conceive from the intercourse. (But allowing for the possibility of conception makes their intercourse an even more constructive and positive act.) So when a married Gentile couple engages in allowed intercourse relations, the emission of semen is allowed even if it is blocked by a condom. Since this arousal is necessary in order for the constructive act of the marital relations to take place, it is not considered that it is being done "in vain."
TomBenNoah Wrote:Concerning the spilling of semen in vain:
Is the occasional deliberate emission of semen still prohibited for teenagers and immature adults if by this behaviour a more condemnable action/transgression can be avoided?
Of course it is hoped and encouraged that the young man will train himself to exert self-control and will-power, and not commit any sexual sin at all.

The act you mentioned is a sin and is prohibited. So the question is about a person who has decided that he is going to commit a sin, and he is deciding whether to commit a lesser sin or a greater sin (either greater in terms of being a more severe prohibition with liability to a more severe Divine punishment, or greater in terms of the harm that it will cause). So both options are prohibited, and both make the person liable to punishment by G-d.

The following answer is from Rabbi Moshe Weiner, as published in "The Divine Code," 2nd Edition, Part VI, Chapter 5, "Precepts Related to Spilling Semen, and Contraception," p. 534:

"it appears to the author that if one has an intense urge to cohabit with a prostitute, it is better that he spill his semen and not cohabit with her (even if she is unmarried), since both actions violate the command for Gentiles to 'make the world settled,' and cohabiting with a prostitute causes a greater destruction of the society at large than his own (self-damaging) act... (Also, there are those that say that one who cohabits with a prostitute, by default, also transgresses the prohibition of wasteful emission of semen – see Otzar Ha’Poskim vol. 9, p. 90b – since it is not done for the purpose of marital relations [as well as the fact that ... those men who use their services are drawn away from the positive obligation to father and raise children]. So the act of relations with a prostitute is the same as if the man spilled his semen on his own, and better that he transgress only one prohibition rather than two.)"

Likewise, if a man is tempted to commit rape, pedophilia, incest, adultery, or intercourse with another male or with an animal, we can again say that if he would instead transgress only the one prohibition of spilling his semen in vain on his own, that would not be as bad as committing two (or more) transgressions (especially for the categories of forbidden intercourse that are a capital sin and/or that would involve harm and mental/emotional damage to a victim).

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