Male/female shaking hands, friendshiips, etc.

[Teodor]

B""H

Sh"lom dear Director Michael and Academy Rabbis,
Is it allowed to an adult noahide woman to shake hands with (if yes, under which circumstances) or to give a hug or a kiss to an adult noahide man (except her husband) incl. her brother from the same mother, her father or grandfather?
Thanks for all your help, happy Pessach to all the jewish participates on this forum and immediate redemption to the whole world!

[Joachim ben Noach]

BS"D

Do these rules for modesty distinguish between married and unmarried men and women?
and,
May one hug only those family members mentioned above: or more than these? (For it is permissible to marry cousins etc.)

And may Redemption indeed come immediately!

[Director Michael]

I forwarded these questionse to Rabbi Moshe Weiner, author of "The Divine Code" series. Here are the answers he provided for observant Noahides:

- A married Gentile woman is permitted to kiss and hug her relatives that you mentioned (her father, grandfather and adult brother) in societies where this is the custom, if this is done only as a way of showing family closeness and honor to these relatives. In that context, this is not at all an immodest act.

- If she knows that one of her relatives is an exception to this (i.e. he acts immodestly toward her) she may not show any physical signs of closeness to him.

- If an adult woman wants to be pious, she may choose to refrain from kissing her adult brother.

- If it is the custom in a society for unrelated men and women (either married or unmarried) to shake hands, or even kiss lightly on the cheek, as a form of greeting in public (but not other types of closeness), that is not forbidden for Gentiles according to their basic Torah law. But there is justification for an individual to choose to be stricter for him/herself.

May one hug only those family members mentioned above: or more than these? (For it is permissible to marry cousins etc.)

There is no prohibition for Gentile men and women who are not in forbidden categories to each other to do this. This would rule out a married woman hugging another man, except that it is allowed for a married or unmarried woman to hug her own (grand)parent or adult (grand)child. An adult brother hugging his adult married or unmarried sister is a borderline case.

[Joachim ben Noach]

I am sorry, but my mind is in a mist and I do not clearly understand:

Does it first say that any two persons of the opposite gender may indeed express the courtesy of a handshake or hug, regardless of either's marriage status?
Does it then go on to say that a married woman is strictly forbidden to touch anyone but those specific relatives you outlined?

Thank you.

[Director Michael]

Sorry for the confusion:

Does it first say that any two persons of the opposite gender may indeed express the courtesy of a handshake or hug, regardless of either's marriage status?

No. It says that Gentiles of the opposite gender may "shake hands, or even kiss lightly on the cheek, as a form of greeting in public," if it is the custom in the society, without regard to either's marital status, to do so.

Does it then go on to say that a married woman is strictly forbidden to touch anyone but those specific relatives you outlined?

No. There is no one who a Gentile woman is "strictly forbidden" to merely touch. A Gentile woman is "strictly forbidden" (meaning, it is a capital sin) to commit adultery or incest as defined in the Noahide Code. The categories of other touching that she "may not" do as mentioned above are additional precepts that a righteous and G-d fearing person should observe.

The posts above are saying that:

(a) a Gentile woman may "shake hands, or even kiss lightly on the cheek, as a form of greeting in public," if it is the custom in the society, regardless of either's marriage status, to do so. (Of course a woman may choose to be more strict, and not shake hands or kiss as a greeting.)

(b) if a Gentile woman is married, she should only engage in more extensive friendly touching with other men (e.g. friendly hugging) if they are her immediate family members - father, grandfather, son, grandson, and brother (with discretion).

It is not a problem if a married woman gives a friendly hug to a boy if he is under the age of 9.

[Aaron.Nanach]

B"H

Shalom, if a Jewish man is involved in learning Torah with Bnai Noah (on an internet forum), and a Bnai Noah woman signs her email messages "love", is this ok in terms of modesty or would it be better to request that she use some other form of signature?
Thanks

[Director Michael]

As long as it is meant innocently, I think that would be up to the discretion of the man who is involved, and the Administrator of the forum.

[Teodor]

B''H

Sh'lom Dr. Schulman and revered Academy Rabbis,
If a Noahide has shaken hands with an unmarried jewish woman as a greeting in a society where it is a custom to do so, should this Noahide repent?

[Director Michael]

That's not necessary, since a Gentile is only responsible for his or her own transgressions.

But one is morally obligated to avoid knowingly causing another person to transgress. So you can think about how you can tactfully decline to do so in the future. For example, you could say (truthfully) that you might have been exposed to a cold virus, so you don't want to possibly transmit something by shaking hands. Or you could say that you observe the "mitzvah" that a Jew is only permitted to touch someone of the opposite gender if the person is his/her spouse or close relative, unless there is an overriding need (e.g. for the sake of caring for the person's health or saving the person from harm.)

[Hrvatski Noahid]

B"H

Rabbi Weiner writes (Part VI, topic 6:11):

„A man naturally lusts for and desires forbidden relations. Therefore, it is fitting that he subjugate his inclination in this matter and behave with extra piety (i.e., one should take upon himself extra precautions, even if they are not explicitly commanded, in order to distance himself from sin)".

In light of this, should Noahides avoid male/female friendships as a safeguard against licentiousness?